What you can do
It is completely understandable that when the person you care for is feeling suicidal, you will do everything in your power to keep them safe.
Reach out and start the conversation – “you don’t seem like yourself”, “How are you?” Ask twice as you may get a more honest response. Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing. People who have felt suicidal will often say what a huge relief it was to be able to talk about what they were experiencing.
Ask questions to understand more and reassure them that they matter and you don’t need to rush off. Tell them you have time to listen.
Ask about suicide “Are you having thoughts about suicide?” “Are you thinking about ending your life?” Be prepared that the answer may be yes. Evidence shows asking someone if they’re suicidal can protect them
Giving your full attention and listening is extremely powerful and helpful. You don’t have to have all the answers, or know how they feel.
Empathise with them and avoid blame. Try not to judge or give advice.
Validation – acknowledging and accepting another person’s emotions, thoughts and experiences. The most important thing in moments of crisis is to have someone alongside them.
Reassure them that it will not always be like this, and that intensity of feelings can reduce in time. Many suicide attempts are impulsive. Delaying allows time for those intense feelings to subside.
Get help – encourage them to seek help that they are comfortable with. For example, help from a doctor or counsellor, or support through a crisis charity such as the Samaritans.
You can only do the best you can with the information you have at the time.
You can try and hold hope with them.