Domestic abuse

Introduction

This resource pack has been created with the aim of supporting staff in schools and educational settings to work helpfully with children and young people who are experiencing or have lived with domestic abuse.

The aims of the resource pack are therefore to:

• Look at safeguarding issues.
• Consider how you would know if a child or young person is experiencing or has lived with domestic abuse.
• Suggest ideas for working directly with children and young people.
• Consider specific issues: children living in a refuge and contact with a perpetrator.
• Provide information on general educational programmes.
• Provide a context for understanding why school or setting staff might benefit from developing knowledge and skills in this area

Definitions of domestic abuse

Within the domestic abuse Act (2021), domestic abuse is described as any abusive behaviour towards one person from another, when the two are connected. Abusive behaviours include physical abuse, sexual abuse, threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour and psychological abuse. Within the act, persons are considered connected if they are, or have been, married; they are, or have been, civil partners; they are, or have been, in an intimate relationship or they are relatives. Although historically researchers in the UK have typically focussed on abuse experienced by women from men, it is important to recognise that men may also be victims of abuse and women may be perpetrators.

People who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex face similar types of violence to heterosexual people, but there are additional tactics that can be used to control or manipulate someone. For example, threats to be ‘outed’ to friends, families, or employers, acting in a negative way about their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Disabled people make up a significant minority within England: one in five of the population are disabled. Disabled people experience disproportionately higher rates of domestic abuse. They also experience domestic abuse for longer periods of time, and more severe and frequent abuse than non-disabled people.

Domestic abuse and sexual violence affect women from all ethnic groups, and there is no evidence to suggest that women from some ethnic or cultural communities are any more at risk than others.

However, the form the abuse takes may be different for these individuals; in some communities, for example, domestic abuse and sexual violence may be perpetrated by extended family members and may include forced marriage or Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).

Within the domestic abuse Act (2021), it is stated that domestic abuse can also occur between two connected persons that are related. This may include sibling abuse or abuse by a child to a parent. This change in definition reflects a shift in the understanding of domestic abuse. However, the act states that domestic abuse can only occur between persons aged sixteen and over. This leaves anomalies when attempting to define victims and perpetrators of domestic abuse; for example, if the perpetrator is under the age of sixteen. Within the literature, the term teen domestic dating violence is used to describe the abuse perpetrated and experienced by adolescents in relationships.

For the first time the Domestic Abuse Act (2021) recognises children and young people as victims of domestic abuse in their own right if they see, hear or experience the effects of the abuse, and are related to, or fall under ‘parental responsibility’ of the victim and, or perpetrator of domestic abuse.

A consistent message from staff in schools or settings is that whilst they may have a greater awareness of domestic abuse issues, it can be hard to know how best to respond and provide support to those children/young people affected. This is where we hope this information pack will be helpful.

Safeguarding

When you become aware of a child or young person experiencing domestic abuse you will need to follow the safeguarding policy in place in your school or setting. This will include sharing the information that you have with the Senior Designated Officer for Child Protection in your setting.(Or if there is an immediate risk – Front Door (MASH) Tel: 0345 155 1071 or childsc.earlyhelprequestforsupport-mailbox@devon.gov.uk)

In addition, it is also important to bear in mind the evidence for the co-existence of domestic abuse and other forms of child abuse. This may arise through:

• Direct abuse towards the child or young person
  • The adult victim being unable to meet the needs of the child or young person because of their own needs
  • The child or young person being hurt if they try to intervene

It will be important to consider the issue of confidentiality when talking to children/young people. You cannot offer complete confidentiality to children/young people and you will need to let them know that you may need to pass on information that they give to you to other adults, if you feel that their safety is at risk. Where possible, you should let the children/young people know what you will be passing on and to whom.

Further information about safeguarding issues can be found on the Devon Children and Families Partnership pages at The Devon Safeguarding Children Partnership (Devon SCP)

Signs that children and young people are experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse:

Research confirms that experiencing domestic abuse can have a long-term impact on children and young people and their development, even if their experiences were years ago. Although all children/young people respond differently to experiencing domestic abuse, there are some common effects that are often seen.

• Changes in behaviour and personality that can happen quickly and dramatically
• Defiance – active or passive as a means of gaining control
• Displaying disruptive behaviour, acting out violent thoughts and showing little empathy for others
• Reactivity and impulsivity – impaired ability to control behaviours
• Alcohol or drug use in adolescents
• Separation anxiety beyond what would normally be expected for the age of the child
• Signs of anxiety or depression including excessive worry about siblings and/or parents
• Aggression – misreading situations, ‘strike first before I am hurt’ mentality
• Hypersensitivity, hypervigilance or dissociation (tuning out)
• Perceiving threat in neutral or friendly situations
• Lack of emotional regulation
• Physical ailments e.g., headaches, tummy aches
• Developmental delays in younger children
• Poor school attendance or lateness – might be staying home to protect non-abusive parent, hide their injuries, or they may be prevented from coming to school
• Not handing in or completing homework
• Difficulties in peer relationships, social withdrawal, difficulty reading social cues
• Under achievement in school or excessive focus on doing well
• Poor concentration
• Children or young people who are no trouble at all (sometimes you may not observe any of these signs in a children/young people who is nevertheless experiencing domestic abuse)

Many children/young people will display all or some of these behaviours. Although experiencing domestic abuse may not be the cause, it is vital that school staff consider the possibility of domestic abuse both currently happening and experienced in the past.

The following will also influence the impact of domestic abuse on children and young people:

• The age of the children/young people
  • Pre-school children may show more physical evidence of anxiety
  • Primary school children may show a broader range of behavioural or emotional responses
  • Adolescents may show avoidance or denial strategies, e.g., use of alcohol or drugs, leave home – ‘escape’.
• The individual characteristics and personality of the child or young person – resilience factors
• The range of experiences that might constitute domestic abuse and the timescale involved – is domestic abuse a current or past experience for the child or young person?
• Current living arrangements – is the child or young person still in the environment where domestic abuse is an issue?

Some of the feelings that children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse may have include:

• Fear – of those they love in their own home
• Distrust – of adults and professionals
• Anxiety – Will this go on forever? Will mum be killed? What will happen if someone finds out?
• Sadness and loss – Why is this happening?
• Anger – at abuser or victim for not leaving or leaving and taking the children/young people away from their familiar life
• Guilt – believing they have caused violence or abuse, or should have stopped it
• Shock
• Shame – someone may find out
• Confusion – still love both parents, doesn’t make sense, home should be a safe place
• Helplessness – life is unpredictable, I am powerless to change things
• Alone – only happening to me

Children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse often have difficulty identifying and regulating their emotions and hence the behaviour that they display is often a method of communicating how they are feeling.

Talking to children and young people

One of the key things highlighted as being helpful by children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse, is having someone that they can talk to. The fact that an adult is willing to talk about such issues shows the child or young person that adults are aware that it happens and that it is okay to talk about it. There may be some children/young people for whom more specialist therapeutic support may be required but for many, the chance to talk to a trusted adult who has good listening skills will be very helpful.

Generally, we must be careful not to jump to conclusions, ask leading questions or put words into the child or young person’s mouth. It is also vital that the person talking to the child or young person is not judgemental about the victim or perpetrator. The child or young person may be experiencing quite ambivalent feelings towards both the victim and the perpetrator, and any judgements made by the adult may further confuse the child or young person.

When an opportunity arises to talk to children/young people, some open-ended questions may provide enough of a stimulus for the child or young person to begin to talk:

• You seem a little different, how’s things, are you ok?
• I can tell by the way you’re talking things seem hard/ difficult for you?
• How are things at the moment as you don’t seem yourself?
• How are things at home…?
• Is there anything you would like to talk about?
• How could things be different or better for you at the moment?
• It is helpful to try to enable the child or young person to describe their understanding of what is happening and what it means to them, rather than being too keen to interpret things for them

Key messages that children and young people need to hear if they are talking to you about domestic abuse:

• It’s not okay
• It’s not your fault
• It must be scary for you
• I will listen to you and believe you
• You have done the right thing in telling me
• You can tell me how you feel: it is okay to have mixed feelings towards your mum/ dad etc.
• There is nothing you could have done to prevent or change it
• We can talk about what to do to keep you safe

However, there are also a few things to try to avoid saying:

• I know how difficult things are for you
• I understand how things must be
• I know how you must be feeling
• I know what you must be going through
• I understand what home must be like

Opportunities to talk with children and young people may arise informally and more formally. With younger children, what is important to them or troubling them may be enacted through play. Whilst play therapy is a specialist intervention requiring training, thoughtful adults can still get alongside children in play, and through comments and questions can help them to express thoughts and feelings. Small world play and puppets can be useful in this respect.

Similarly, whilst art therapy is a specialist intervention, some children will be comfortable with opportunities for ‘Drawing and Talking’. ‘Drawing and Talking’ is a safe, easy to learn method of working with children to help with underlying emotional difficulties that may be affecting their learning and behaviour. The core of the method is encouraging the children to draw with a person they feel comfortable with regularly, at the same time each week, and this person asking some non-intrusive questions about the child’s drawings.

Safety planning

Safety planning is a practical way of helping children and young people who are experiencing domestic abuse. The plan aims to help the child or young person stay safe, especially when their parent is being physically abused. It also aims to increase the child or young person’s sense of power and decrease fear.

The key messages for the child are:

• They have a right to be safe and cared for in a safe environment
• Their concerns will be taken seriously
• They are not responsible for adult violence
• They should not try to intervene but get out and if possible, try to get help
• They have the right to protect themselves; to say ‘no’; to get out of violent situations
• They can help siblings, but they are not responsible for their long-term safety; this is an adult’s responsibility

Safety planning could include:

• Asking children/young people to identify a safe place to go to if there is further violence
• Asking children/young people to identify a person they can go to if necessary
• Ensuring the child or young person knows how to contact the emergency services
• Making sure that the child or young person understands that it is neither safe nor their responsibility to intervene to try and protect the adult being abused

Although staff in schools and settings may be well-placed to work on safety planning with children/young people, such work will need to be thought about carefully. If there are other services involved with the family, then this may have already been addressed. It would also be important to involve the non-abusing parent or carer in thinking about the child or young person’s safety planning and they may well already have a plan for themselves and their children.

Scripts

Sometimes, children/young people can face questions from their peers that are difficult for them to answer because of their experiences, for example, ‘Where do you live?’. It can be helpful to give children/young people the opportunity to think about what they can say when faced with awkward questions and develop a simple ‘script’. The principle would be to keep an element of truth in what is said. For example:

Q: Where do you live?

A: Not too far from Tesco (keep vague).

Q: Shall I call for you to catch the bus together?

A: Probably better to text me and I’ll meet you at the bus stop.

Q: Can I come to your house?

A: It’s a bit difficult because it’s not our house, we’re staying with friends; other people.

Q: Why have you moved here?

A: It wasn’t very nice where we were before, and Mum thought it would be better here.

Understanding and managing behaviours that challenge

A wide range of behaviours may be evident in children/young people who have experienced domestic abuse, and some may be more challenging to manage in school.

• Thinking about what might lie beneath the behaviour will be helpful in working out how best to support the child and manage inappropriate behaviour
• Providing an environment that offers nurture, security and predictability will be extremely helpful
• An effective system of communication with home that takes into account the ongoing safety of the victim

Behaviours and strategies

Relational approaches

Secure relationships have a direct bearing on children and young people’s capacity to succeed in school. Relationships and belonging are key to success for all children/young people and essential for those who have experienced relational losses and trauma such as domestic abuse. Relational learning provides a framework for whole school development and universal provision, as well as attachment-based mentoring.

Guidance for Relational Practice and Developing Relational Support Plans

Guidance for developing relational practice, policy and support plans.

The guidance was written in response to well-documented concerns regarding young people’s mental health and well-being and long-standing national trends which show the disproportionate exclusion of children from vulnerable groups.

The document describes an approach to teaching and learning which influences whole school ethos and systems as well as universal teaching practice and targeted support. It supports the development of relational behaviour policies which consider current research and theory from the fields of attachment and trauma, effective support for inclusion and on improving behaviour in schools.

There are three main components to the relational model, developing relationships, responding and calming, and repairing and restoring as well as guidance on working in relationship in the classroom and through a graduated response.

The approaches should be used universally as good ordinarily available inclusive practice and in a planned and timely fashion to target early intervention for children and young people who may be at risk of exclusion.

A Relational Support Plan should include:

• Details of a team of people who will be supporting the child or young person. Who will provide the support and when? Who will make up the team for the child or young person? This should include not only the child or young person’s significant adult(s) but also teachers, teaching assistants, mealtime assistants and other adults who may be part of the child or young person’s day as well as members of senior leadership and the SENDCo. It may also be helpful to have members of the child or young person’s family as part of the team.

• The plan describes how the relationship needs of the child or young person will be met through experiencing Protection, Connection, Understanding and Care. It is important to be clear about the adult-child interactions (the way of being together) that are needed as well as activities, adaptations to the curriculum and environment and any additional resources needed.
• It is helpful to consider the child or young person’s strengths, qualities, and interests, what the child or young person enjoys and when they are at their best. This information can be helpful in thinking about the support that will be most beneficial. Sometimes we need to do more of the things that are working well, as well as developing new strategies.
• Some children and young people need a team where there is someone available to them that they can depend and rely on, knowing who it is at any given moment of the school day. Some children and young people benefit from a team which includes adults from different levels in the school or setting’s hierarchy.

Attachment Based Mentoring Training

Attachment Based Mentoring (ABM) is a relational approach to supporting children with their social and emotional development. The approach includes both universal and targeted support, particularly for children who may have had adverse childhood experiences, those who are struggling with their emotional health and well-being and those who are finding it difficult to engage with learning and the social aspects of school. Developed from the ground up, it looks at the specific needs of these children and how these can be met through our relationships: what we are doing and how we are being with the child.

In order to provide a truly holistic approach that has the potential to remove barriers to learning and inclusion, the approach draws upon theory and research from several areas of psychology and school-based practice – neuroscience, attachment, connection, resilience, coaching (efficacy, agency, motivation, identity), social learning theory, executive functioning and restorative approaches.

The writers of our popular Attachment Based Mentoring and Relational Learning training and professional development programmes: Matt Jones (Social, Emotional and Mental Health advisory teacher) and Catherine Dunnett (Specialist Senior Educational Psychologist) provide an overview of the course.

You can undertake ABM training via our Online Learning Platform – learn at your own pace, at a time convenient to you details of which can be found here.

How relational approaches help

Research has demonstrated that investing time and resources into improving relationships in schools and educational settings leads to positive outcomes around inclusion, engagement, attainment and achievement in the short term and community safety and cohesion in the longer term. (Behaviour in Scottish Schools Research BISSR). In addition, positive teacher student relationships have been shown to be central to the well-being of both students and teachers (Sue Roffey, Developing Positive Relationships in Schools University of Exeter).

The guidance seeks to support schools and settings to develop Relational Practice and Policy which is aligned with current research and theory from the fields of attachment and trauma, behaviour management and on effective support for personal development. It emphasises the need for schools and settings to place a greater importance on inclusion and belonging through promoting positive relationships and behaviour, effective teaching, and preventative responses. In addition, the guidance draws on a range of evidence-based approaches that have been shown to prevent the need for exclusion. These approaches are based around the principle that all behaviour is a form of communication.

Relationship support websites for young people

Act On It Now is a website promoting healthy relationships in teens and young people. It offers information about what a healthy, unhealthy and toxic relationships look like. Teens and young people can also get help if they are worried about their own relationship or someone else’s.

The Mix is the UK’s leading digital charity for under 25s, it can be accessed via website, over the phone or via social media. The support is free, confidential and anonymous and can be accessed wherever young people are. They connect young people to experts and their peers to talk about everything from money to mental health, homelessness to jobs, break-ups to drugs and more. It has a peer-led and moderated community, multi-channel helpline, counselling service and crisis support messenger.

Teen Care Pack | Act On It Now a care pack for teenagers that contains a collection of tools for young people to help improve mental wellbeing and develop strategies for managing difficult emotions.

Emotional wellbeing resources

Children or young people who have experienced domestic abuse often have difficulty regulating and dealing with their emotions. Therefore one of the most useful ways you can support children/young people who have experienced domestic abuse is to help them to develop their emotional literacy skills. Children or young people need to be able to identify and label their emotions and feelings and know how to manage these appropriately. The following websites contain some useful free emotional literacy resources:

www.tes.co.uk The Times Educational Supplement website has a huge number of downloadable resources for emotional wellbeing. Go to Teaching Resources, Special Educational Needs, search emotional wellbeing.

www.do2learn.com This website is designed for children with learning difficulties. It contains some really useful resources that could be used with all children experiencing emotional difficulties such as feelings games and facial expression generators.

www.kidshealth.org This website covers lots of different aspects of ‘being healthy’. It contains separate sections for children and teenagers and provides lots of useful information about different feelings and emotional experiences.

The Emotional health and wellbeing – Devon Schools Wellbeing Partnership website contains information guidance and resources for schools on relevant topics including mental health, self-harm and suicide and there will be new pages on domestic abuse and childhood adversity coming soon.

Additional things to consider that may impact children and young people

Contact with the perpetrator

Contact with the perpetrator can be a positive or negative experience for children and young people who have lived with domestic abuse.

The Children Act, 1989 was amended by the Children and Families Act, 2014. There are now the following orders available under Section 8:

“a contact order” means an order requiring the person with whom a child lives, or is to live, to allow the child to visit or stay with the person named in the order, or for that person and the child otherwise to have contact with each other.

“a prohibited steps order” means an order that no step which could be taken by a parent in meeting his parental responsibility for a child, and which is of a kind specified in the order, shall be taken by any person without the consent of the court.

“a residence order” means an order settling the arrangements to be made as to the person with whom a child is to live; and

“a specific issue order” means an order giving directions for the purpose of determining a specific question which has arisen, or which may arise, in connection with any aspect of parental responsibility for a child.

The presumption of a right to contact between a parent and children/young people refers to the children/young people’s right to contact and not the right of the parent. Courts will not become involved in contact between separated parties unless there is a dispute. When the courts become involved CAFCASS (Children and Families Court Advisory Support Service) scrutinise applications for contact for any possible allegations of harm to children/young people. The Court has to give particular consideration to the likely risk of further harm to the children/young people whether physical or emotional, through granting or refusing contact.

Contact can take different forms:

• Indirect contact – writing letters and cards, emails, text messages
• Direct contact – telephone calls, visiting contact, overnight stays

Direct contact can be supervised or unsupervised and sometimes child contact centres are used for contact. However, the contact will not necessarily be supervised one-to-one as there may be several families in the same room. Furthermore, even in supervised contact it can still be difficult to monitor some of the subtle communication taking place between the perpetrator and the children/young people, which may have a further impact on them.

Some of the issues surrounding contact include:

• The perpetrator applying for a contact order as a way of tracking down the partner e.g., going to their house to pick up the children/young people, following the victim home after contact
• The potential loss of power for the perpetrator may increase efforts to regain control
• Children or young people at risk of physical, sexual and, or emotional abuse during contact
• The perpetrator having no real interest in the children/young people
• The perpetrator saying negative things to the children/young people about the non- abusive parent
• The perpetrator getting the children/young people to behave in a certain way towards the non-abusive parent

How school staff can support children and young people with contact:

• Ask about contact arrangements, when it is happening and where
• Be aware of the children/young people’s responses to contact – before and after
• Provide the children/young people with opportunities to discuss their contact on a regular basis if they want to, including their fears and concerns, and how it went
• Acknowledge the different feelings or emotions that contact may provoke and reassure the children/young people that it is okay to feel all these positive and negative emotions e.g. It is ok both to be frightened and want to see domestic abused
• Support the children/young people to develop strategies to manage their feelings

Note: When parents are separated and the child is having contact it is helpful if the school maintains separate communication with both parents, with accountability on both parents to engage with this, so information isn’t given to one parent to pass onto the other.

Living in a refuge

A small minority of children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse will spend some time living in a refuge. Living in a refuge can present children/young people with a range of new experiences, both positive and negative. Alongside this often comes a mixture of different feelings and emotions, some of which can be overwhelming. It is very common for children/young people living in a refuge to experience some, or all of the following:

• Relief…sense of being safer, calm.
• Recognition that ‘I’m not the only one…’
• Feelings of anger and resentment towards the non-abusive parent for taking them away from their dad, family, school, friends etc.
• Sense of loss – children/young people have often had to leave suddenly and hence might be missing friends, pets, relatives, school, belongings, house, toys
• Loss of coping strategies and sources of support e.g. extended family
• Threat to their identity… ‘Who am I?
• Uncertainty – how long will we be here, what will happen when we leave?
• Fear – will we be found?

The reality of living in a refuge can be challenging for both children/young people and non- abusive parents. Some of the issues that may arise include:

• Need for secrecy – not telling people where you are
• Rules and boundaries – house rules set by other people, e.g. children not being allowed in the kitchen
• Communal living – sharing a bedroom with their parent and siblings, living very closely with other children and families, lack of personal space
• Difficulties finding a quiet place to complete homework
• ‘Parenting in a goldfish bowl’
• Financial issues – not having access to money, waiting for benefits to come through
• Having to start at a new school, maybe without the correct uniform
• Starting school mid-term, adding to the sense of difference
• Coming from a different area with a different accent etc. again adding to the sense of difference
• Establishing new friendships
• Pressure on the relationship between the non-abusive parent and the child

How schools can help:

• Have a clear protocol for dealing with issues of confidentiality whilst allowing for the collection of relevant educational information
• Priority needs to be given to children/young people from refuges when processing school admissions to minimise disruption to education
• Ensuring that when a child or young person living in the refuge joins your school, they are provided with a uniform as soon as possible so that they do not instantly stand out as being different
• Recognise that completing homework may not be a top priority for this child or young person or it may be extremely difficult for them to do so; are there any opportunities for the child or young person to complete homework in school or setting?
• Promote peer relations and a sense of belonging e.g. through encouraging the child or young person to join clubs

Psychological theories explaining the impact of domestic abuse on children and young people

Attachment theory

It is within close attachment relationships with a carer that children learn to make sense of themselves, other people, and social interaction. These relationships shape the child’s Internal Working Model of themselves, other people, and the world. In a secure attachment, the child’s needs are sensitively met, and through repeated experiences of distress being soothed the child begins to be able to self-regulate their emotional state. The close reciprocal relationship also provides the foundation for social interaction and the beginnings of empathy. The development of a secure base within a close relationship enables the child to begin to explore and learn about the world around them.

Babies and young children living in the context of domestic abuse may well develop secure attachments with their carers, but this could be jeopardized by:

• Lack of emotional availability of the carer because they may be pre- occupied with trying to keep safe
  • Greater likelihood of post-natal depression reducing the responsiveness of the caregiver with their baby

Developmental trauma and stress

Trauma can be defined as an event or events that involve actual or threatened death or serious injury, or other threat to personal integrity. It includes being witness to such an event. The overwhelming response is that one’s sense of safety is shattered, leading to fear, helplessness, vulnerability, and a view that the world is a dangerous place.

Clearly, it is extremely frightening and stressful for a child or young person to witness the source of their own safety (i.e., the carer) being at risk. To see one’s carer being frightened and the other behaving in a very frightening manner again creates huge stress for the child or young person. Even if the child or young person does not see what is happening, it is highly likely that they will hear a disturbance. This can be equally distressing, particularly if the child or young person can only imagine what is going on.

The repeated experience of not having help to soothe their own distress, creates developmental trauma through the impact on the brain of continued stress dysregulation.

The development of technology has allowed us to see how the brain works in far more detail than has previously been possible. The effects of stress hormones and in particular, cortisol, have been investigated. What is now very clear is that repeated exposure to stressful events, resulting in the release of cortisol, can have profound effects upon the anatomy and functioning of the brain.

The more sophisticated parts of the brain (neocortex), which develop through use and positive experiences, begin to control the more reactive and primitive areas of the brain (reptilian complex). However, the release of cortisol switches off these more sophisticated areas of the brain, allowing the more primitive areas to respond to stress. Over time, this means that the necessary helpful connections within the cortex are underdeveloped and lead to some of the behaviours explored above.

There is also evidence that when pregnant women experience stress, the cortisol that is released will pass into the unborn baby’s body and affect them in a similar way. This means that it is possible for babies to be born already traumatised. This has some special significance here as we know that pregnancy can be a specific trigger for the occurrence of domestic abuse.

Social learning theory

Social learning theory explains how behaviours and attitudes can be learned through how we see others behaving and responding. This has some potential for explaining some of the effects that domestic abuse has on children and young people; we know that they are likely to have witnessed the behaviour of both the abuser and the victim and through this may learn to behave in similar ways, even if this is not a conscious process.

Social learning theory proposes that humans are active information processors and think about the relationship between their behaviour and its consequences. Children and young people observe the adults around them behaving in various ways.

In society children/young people are surrounded by many influential models, such as parents within the family, characters on TV, social media, friends within their peer group and teachers at school or setting. These models provide examples of behaviour to observe and imitate.

Children and young people pay attention to some of these people and encode their behaviour. At a later time they may imitate (i.e. copy) the behaviour they have observed. A child or young person is more likely to attend to and imitate those people it perceives as similar to itself. It should however be noted that there is no clear evidence to suggest that those who witness domestic abuse will go on to be abusers themselves.

Educational programmes and tool kits

Expect respect

The Expect Respect Educational Toolkit has been put together by Women’s Aid and consists of one easy to use ‘Core’ lesson for each year group from Reception to Year 13. It is based on broad themes that have been found to be effective in tackling domestic abuse.

Spiralling

Spiralling is an educational resource pack and DVD that can be used with children of all ages to explore positive relationships. It has been put together by the Bristol Domestic Abuse Forum. The pack contains different activities for children of every age and a film that can be used with teenagers. All of the resources can be downloaded free from:

Crush

A programme for 13–19-year-olds who have witnessed or experienced domestic abuse delivered by North Devon Against Domestic Abuse (NDADA) on a commissioned basis

Real Love Rocks

Education and awareness raising programme developed by Barnardo’s. It promotes children and young people’s right to healthy, consensual and safe relationships with peers, partners, their family and across their community. There are programmes available for primary and secondary aged children and a separate programme for children with SEND.

Training and support services

Devon County Council Domestic and sexual violence and abuse website

Information and advice around domestic abuse and sexual violence and where to get help. The website also contains information for young people and perpetrators of abuse.

Domestic violence and abuse – Domestic and Sexual Violence and Abuse

DAAL12022 Domestic abuse level 1 training

DAAL2-2023 Domestic abuse level 2 training

You will require a DEL account to access these e-training modules. To request an account please email  – safeguardingelearning-mailbox@devon.gov.uk

FearFree

FearFree is a charity working to break the cycle of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking across the Southwest. They support over 10,000 adults and children every year to not only keep them safe but help them to rebuild their lives free from fear and abuse. The support is tailored to the person’s needs and experiences, right from crisis intervention, through to 1-1 or group work recovery sessions, to specialised employment and education programmes.

admin.devon@fearfree.org.uk

SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone) foundation

SAFE foundation works as part of a multi-agency strategy, to end domestic abuse in Devon. SAFE foundation continues to work collaboratively with other domestic violence and abuse organisations in the Southwest, as well as with a wide range of statutory bodies and other voluntary agencies.

Services include:

• an Independent Domestic Violence Adviser (IDVA) service Mid and East Devon
• a specialist domestic abuse Court IDVA Mid, East and Exeter – provides a service for victims needing specialist support through the criminal justice system
• children and young people’s workers (funded by Children In Need) – a community or family support service for Children and Young People affected by or living with DVA
• a boys and young men’s male worker (funded by Comic Relief) working with boys and young men affected by or living with domestic abuse, helping re-establish positive and healthy relationships within the family
• providing domestic violence and abuse awareness-raising sessions to secondary schools and colleges, group setting, youth services and schools
• 1 to 1 support sessions for children/young people (5–17-year-olds)
• 1 to 1 support sessions with Parents or Carers

For more information please go to: SAFE Foundation (wearesafe.org.uk)

Tel: 01392 269540 or 01392 269547

North Devon Against domestic abuse (NDADA)

www.ndada.co.uk   Tel: 01271 321946    

NDADA supports all sections of our community with a range of services for women, men, children and young people in North Devon.

• Provide temporary refuge accommodation to women and children who have suffered domestic abuse and also offers support and aftercare to any woman who has left the refuge
• Encourage service users to determine their own futures and to help them achieve this, whether this involves returning home or starting a new life elsewhere
• Recognising and caring for the emotional and educational needs of the children involved
• Offering support, advice and help to any service user who asks for it
• Educate and inform the public, the media, Police, Courts, Social services and other partners and organisations with respect to domestic abuse
• NDADA is now very focused on supporting the family in a more holistic approach – keeping families safe and relationships healthy

Services include:

• A refuge – purpose built property that offers support and accommodation for single women and women and their children
• An Independent Domestic Violence Adviser (IDVA) service North Devon – working with those assessed at high risk and referred to Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conferences (MARAC)
• A Specialist domestic abuse Court IDVA North – This IDVA’s role is to support victims of domestic abuse through the criminal justice system from the point at which an arrest has been made up until the court proceedings have ended.
• Children and Young People’s workers (employed by Devon Domestic Abuse Support Services) offering a consultation service to schools, training opportunities and work with individual children where the victim and/or perpetrator is accessing support from NDADA or Devon Domestic Abuse Support Services
• Child and parent programmes -Grow Together and Side by Side. Please see the NDADA website for further information. https://ndada.co.uk/category/courses/
• EADA (Empowerment After Domestic abuse) – A 14-week course for women that aims to enable women to begin to understand the problem of abuse and its impact on the entire family, to become aware of their lifelong patterns, to set realistic goals, and to learn techniques for developing new patterns of their own choosing.

Survivors Empowering and Educating domestic abuse Services (SEEDS)

Survivors Empowering and Educating domestic abuse Services (SEEDS) are a group of female survivors of domestic abuse from all areas of Devon. They are committed to influencing and improving agency responses and service delivery for other women and children.

If you are a survivor of domestic abuse and would like to join SEEDS Devon they can be contacted at seedsdevon@gmail.com.

First Light

First Light is a charity for anyone who is experiencing or has experienced domestic abuse or sexual violence in Devon, Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly, Swindon and Wiltshire, and across England & Wales.

Victim Care – Devon and Cornwall

The aim of this website is to provide support for victims locally to anyone of any age, to promote the person’s rights and to give information about the criminal justice system.

Call for support 24-hour Support line 0808 168 91111

Get help online 24-hour live chat with Victim Support

Devon Educational Psychology Service

In addition to the training and services above, Devon Educational Psychology Service are able to provide training and consultation with regard to domestic abuse and the impact on children/young people.

Please contact Claire Bedford (Senior Educational Psychologist) or Gemma Newbery (Educational Psychologist) 01392 383000 for further information.

Books and websites

For professionals:

www.womensaid.org.uk

www.nspcc.org.uk 

• Making an Impact: Children and Domestic Violence – A Reader by M. Hester, C. Pearson and N. Harwin
• Children Living with Domestic Violence by A. Mullender and R. Morley
• Domestic Violence and Child Protection: Directions for Good Practice by Catherine Humphreys
• Children  Living with     Domestic       Violence:       Towards         a Framework for Assessment and Intervention by Martin C. Calder
• Children’s Perspectives on Domestic Violence by Audrey Mullender Childhood Experiences of Domestic Violence by Caroline McGee Domestic Violence and Children by Abigail Sterne and Liz Poole

For children and young people:

womens aid (Home – Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk)

Local contacts

National contacts

References

Domestic Abuse Act 2021

Behaviour in Scottish Schools Research BISSR).

Behaviour in Scottish schools: research report 2023

Sue Roffey Developing Positive Relationships in Schools University of Exeter).

(PDF) Developing Positive Relationships in Schools