No. 38 Domestic abuse and violence

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What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse in the UK is defined as a pattern of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading, and violent behavior, primarily by a partner or ex-partner, but also by family members or caregivers. It can seriously harm children and young people and witnessing domestic abuse is child abuse. It’s important to remember domestic abuse:

  • Can happen inside and outside the home
  • Can happen over the phone, on the internet and on social networking sites
  • Can happen in any relationship and can continue even after the relationship has ended
  • Both men and women can be abused or abusers

Statistics

  • 1 in 5 children in the UK experience domestic abuse
  • 49% of teenagers in intimate relationships aged between 13-17 in England and Wales experience violent or controlling behaviour
  • 78% of children living with domestic abuse are directly harmed by the perpetrator of the abuse
  • Young people aged 16-24 were the highest percentage of victims of domestic abuse year ending March 2024

Types of domestic abuse

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 outlines the following behaviours as abuse:

  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Violent or threatening behaviour
  • Controlling or coercive behaviour
  • Economic abuse
  • Psychological, emotional, or other abuse

Domestic abuse can include:

  • Kicking, hitting, punching or cutting
  • Rape (including in a relationship)
  • Controlling someone’s finances by withholding money or stopping someone earning
  • Controlling behaviour, like telling someone where they can go and what they can wear
  • Not letting someone leave the house
  • Reading emails, text messages or letters
  • Threatening to kill someone or harm them, or indeed the perpetrator threatening to kill themselves
  • Threatening to another family member or pet

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 recognises children under the age of 18 years who see, or hear, or experience the effects of the abuse, as a victim of domestic abuse if they are related or have a parental relationship to the adult victim or perpetrator of the abuse.

Effects of domestic abuse

It can be difficult to tell if DA is happening and those carrying out the abuse can act very different when other people are around. Children and young people might also feel frightened and confused, keeping the abuse to themselves. Living in a home where DA happens can have a serious impact on a child or young person’s mental and physical wellbeing, as well as their behaviour, and this can last into adulthood. Therapeutic support should be provided for children who have experienced this type of abuse.

Signs that a child has witnessed DA can include:

  • Aggression or bullying
  • Anti-social behaviour, like vandalism
  • Attention needing
  • Constant or regular sickness, like colds, headaches and mouth ulcers
  • Eating disorders
  • Problems in school or difficulty learning/concentrating
  • Tantrums
  • Withdrawn or detached behaviour
  • Ambivalent feelings towards both the abuser and the non-abusing parent
  • Frustration or aggression
  • Bullying
  • Anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts
  • Drug or alcohol use
  • Easily startled or seem on edge
  • Fear of leaving the home
  • Bed-wetting or increased soiling
  • Nightmares or insomnia
  • Struggles with separation
  • Difficulty identifying feelings or communicating needs
  • Difficulty developing positive peer relationships

If a child or adult opens up to you about domestic abuse that might be going on for them

  • Provide a safe space for the young person to share as much as they’re comfortable with. It’s already a huge step for them to be talking to you about what’s going on, so listen and don’t pressure them for details
  • Don’t promise to keep things a secret, otherwise you may end up breaking their trust. Let them know you need to speak to other adults to get them the help they need
  • Let them know they’ve done the right thing telling you
  • Tell them it’s not their fault
  • Listen to them and understand their needs
  • Don’t confront the alleged abuser
  • Explain what you’ll do next
  • Record and report

Reporting and support for the family

If you are worried about the immediate safety of a person you should dial 999.

If you are worried that there has been a DA incident and you do not think that the police are aware (i.e. you have not had an Operation Encompass email or a police PPN) you should report this to the police on 101 or complete the online reporting form. This also applies to third party reports of DA, such as for neighbours or acquaintances of the person who has disclosed the concern of DA to you.

Ensure that you alert your DSL/Safeguarding Team and record your concerns, child and/or victims disclosure/voice and your actions following your settings recoding process.

If the victim of DA is in a position to act protectively and keep themselves and their children safe from the perpetrator of DA, it is appropriate to offer Early Help support to ensure that agencies are involved who can support the victim in keeping their family safe, and to ensure that the family can access any therapeutic support that is needed.

Due to the complexities of DA this is not usually a straightforward process and the victim may not be able to act protectively or engage with any support that is offered. Where this is the case, and you are worried about an ongoing situation which is impacting on the children in the home, it is proportionate to make a Front Door enquiry so that Children’s Social Care can decide whether an assessment of the situation is warranted.

Due to the nature of DA you may not be able to reach the victim or have a ‘safe’ conversation with them to gain consent for a Front Door enquiry, this should not prevent you from making your Front Door enquiry if you feel that children are suffering, or are likely to suffer, significant harm, as is the case when they are experiencing DA.

Support for victims of DA in Devon is offered by the Devon Domestic Abuse Alliance, the victim can self-refer to this service or you can refer for them with their consent, professional’s referral form available on the website.  For Torbay or Plymouth families, support is offered through Torbay Domestic Abuse Services (TFAS), or Integrated Domestic Abuse Services Plymouth.

Useful contacts and support