A relational support plan can be helpful in managing and planning for different aspects of support, ensuring that everyone is working consistently and predictably together and that the support given throughout the child’s day at school is joined up.
A relational support plan should ensure that the child receives the consistency and intensity of support needed through well thought out and planned relational intervention.
The plan should include both details of any specific things to do that are supportive of the child’s relational development, but also how adults should be in relationship with the child. It is through are way of being together that the greatest difference will be made.
Process for creating relational support plans
Overview
Involving the child
Eliciting the views of the child is the first part of creating a successful plan. It is useful to discover:
- Where is the child with things at present?
Use the scale or cards to explore their perception of school.
- What helps them to be successful? What are they
- doing? What are others doing?
- Who do they feel would be good to have on their team?
- What are their interests, qualities or skills?
- When are they at their best?
- Encourage the child to consider what their best hopes might be in terms of having some relational
- support.
- What do they hope changes or gets better as a result of this?
Being curious as to what this means in terms of protection, connection, understanding and care will be helpful for informing the plan.
Working with the Core Team
The Core Team is made up of adults who already have a strong relationship with the child, or whom it will be beneficial to develop one. The plan is created by this group of trusted adults. The key adult will:
- share with the team the purpose of relational work for this child
- share any insights from the meeting with the child and their views
- complete the team section and the ‘strengths, interests, qualities’ section of the plan
- invite the group to consider when they notice the child is at their best
As a team complete the plan considering in depth how protection, connection, understanding and care can be provided through the relational experiences created with the child. If helpful, complete the responsive co-regulation plan. As a team complete the plan using the prompting questions.
Invite each adult to consider (and highlight) what will be most helpful for them to be providing from the plan in terms of their role and relationship with the child.
Sharing the plans
The plans should be shared with any adults who are likely to come into contact with the child during the school day. The key adult will:
- share with this wider team of adults the purpose of relational work for this child
- share any insights from the meeting with the child and their views
- share any insights from the meeting with the Core Team
- invite the team to consider good relational practice that is already in place
Talk the adults through the plans, sharing key knowledge of the child and understanding of their needs.
Invite all members of this wider team to consider (and highlight) what will be most helpful for them to be providing from the plan in terms of their role and relationship with the child.
Involving the child
It is vitally important that the child is central to the relational support plan process. They need to be
involved in developing and reviewing the plan. The more individualised and meaningful the plan is to the child the more likely it is to be successful.
The first role of the key adult for the child is to explain the purpose of this work. It is helpful to explain to the child that we:
- want them to be feeling good about school and have people they can reply on throughout their day
- need their input to ensure that the adults understand what they are thinking about school, and how they are feeling about school
- want to understand how adults can best support them and value their views on how this support should look.
- want to know how we will know if we are being successful in terms of this work, and be clear about what differences we may expect to see
Once an explanation of why we are doing this has been made, the key adult for the child then needs to elicit the views of the child in terms of where they are a present with school, what is already working well, and what will be supportive in terms of improving their school experience through having a team of people.
It is helpful to be really curious and interested, listen without judgement and be persistent, in a respectful way, as to what their views and opinions are.
Where is the child with things at present?
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is the best school could be and 1 is the furthest from that, how are things at the moment? Tell me about some of the things that are happening that are keeping you up at that number.
What helps them to be successful at the moment or has helped in the past?
What helps you? Who helps you – what do they do that helps? What difference does that make to you? What do you notice about yourself and others when things are going well? What helps when things are tricky? How do you cope when things are difficult? What helps you to feel safe and calm?
What are their interests, qualities or skills?
When are you at your best? What are you most pleased about – how did you manage to do this? What skills did you use? What are you proud of? What do you like to do for fun?
Encourage the child to consider what their best hopes might be in terms of having some relational support.
What would a 10 out of 10 look like for you? What would I notice about you on a day that was a 10? What do you hope changes / gets better as a result of this? Who do you feel it might be good to have on
our team? If in a few weeks’ time you were just a bit further along the scale, what might be different?
Being curious as to what this means in terms of Protection, Connection, Understanding and Care will be helpful for informing the plan developed with the Core Team.
Towards the end of the meeting, discuss the best way the views of the child should be shared with the Core Team. The child may feel able to share the discussion with the Core Team, alternatively, it might be helpful for the key adult to do this.
They could write a letter together that captures the conversation that can be read out at the start of the meeting by either the child or the key adult. It might be the case that the key adult simply represents the child’s views.
It is important for the child to know that the conversation they have had with the key adult will be the central starting point for the work with the Core Team.
Working with the Core Team to create the relational support plan
The Core Team is made up of adults who already have a strong relationship with the child, or whom it will be beneficial to develop one. The plan is created by this group of trusted adults.
The Core Team members
- For some children the Core Team may reflect the need for the child to have a significant adult available to them at all times throughout the day.
- The team school include at least one member of the Senior Leadership Team, members of staff who regularly come into contact with the child, as well as those who are working on a daily basis with the child.
- The Core Team can include non-teaching staff, such as breakfast and after school or extra-curricular staff, schools receptionists or care taker.
- The Core Team can also include parents, carers and other family members.
The meeting structure
- Share with the team the purpose of relational work and shared plans.
- Share any insights from the meeting with the child and their views.
- Complete the team section and the ‘strengths interests qualities’ section of the plan, encouraging the group to consider when they notice the child is at their best and to explore what is already working well.
- Work through the prompting questions on the relational support plan for protection, connection, understanding and care, being mindful to describe relational skills as well as things to do.
- Consider whether the child needs a responsive co-regulation plan – see guidance.
- Invite each adult to consider and highlight what their role will be in implementing the plan.
- Set a date for a review of the plan.
A relational support plan template is found at the end of this document
Working with the Core Team to create the responsive co-regulation plan
Some children will benefit greatly from having a plan in place that ensures adults are consistent, predictable and reliable when responding to certain behaviours and incidents.
Children learn to regulate themselves through the process of co-regulation, they also need to learn about and practise regulation with a trusted adult when calm.
Adults benefit from having plans as this can enable them to regulate themselves and provide containment in the moment.
Structure for discussion
- Adults should share their knowledge, understanding and experiences of the child so that there is a clear
picture of the behaviours which might indicate that a child is calm, alert or mildly stressed, dysregulated (mobilised or immobilised) or at crisis point. - For each stage of regulation the adults supporting the child should consider what the specific needs of the child are in terms of both how the adults should be and what they should do.
- Being able to identify when to use social interaction in order to engage thinking and when to reduce the social demand to maintain safety is particularly important.
- The plan also outlines what needs to happen when the child is calm to enable them to develop their ability to regulate.
- This section may also outline interventions which would be helpful to support the development of emotional literacy and stress regulation, as well as opportunities to practice experiencing tricky feelings in a safe context.
As with the Relational Support Plan, the final aspect of the Responsive Co-regulation Plan involves the key adult sharing the plan with a wider group of people who come into contact with the child throughout the school week.
A responsive co-regulation plan template is found at the end of this document
Sharing plans with the wider team
The final aspect to the relational support plan process involves the key adult sharing the plan with a wider group of people who come into contact with the child throughout the school week. This wider team has less involvement with the child than the Core Team, but would benefit from gaining an understanding of the child’s needs, an understanding of useful relational support and consider their individual role in supporting the child and this process.
To ensure a shared understanding and consistency of approach the relational support plans and responsive co-regulation plans should be shared with any adults who regularly come into contact with the child during the school day. As well as teaching staff and teaching assistants this group should include any other key adults such as meal time assistants and school admin staff who may have involvement with the child.
It would be helpful to hold a short meeting or take 15 mins in a regular staff meeting, as appropriate to your setting, to share understanding of the child’s behaviour and needs, how the core team will be supporting the child and how others in school could be helpful in supporting the child.
A simple meeting structure could involve:
Sharing key understanding of the child’s needs and behaviour. It will be helpful for other adults coming into contact with the child to be able to read the child’s behaviour in the context of their relational needs. For example, ‘Jenny finds it hard to move between lessons as she becomes overwhelmed by the noise and bustle of the corridors. She does not feel safe when adults raise their voices and at these times she can react defensively by being refusing to do what has been asked’.
How the adults in the core team will be supporting the child. It will be helpful to explain who is in the child’s core team, what their role will be in supporting the child and what they will be doing. This should include how people will be in relationship with the child in terms of the key relational skills and interactions as well as any intervention or practical/organisational support in place.
How all adults in school should be to support the child. It would be helpful to describe the types of support and responses that have been identified as being most helpful, what is currently most successful and situations when the child is at their best. Invite all adults who will come into contact with the child to consider what will be most helpful for them to do in their role and relationship with the child.
Practical approaches and strategies for implementing relational support plans
Below is a summary of the four key components of the relational support plan; protection, connection,
understanding and care. As well as a description of each area of support there are also a few examples of good practice under each heading.
The most successful plans are developed collaboratively with all members of the child’s team, involve the child and their parents or carers and show a good understanding of the child’s needs.
Successful plans utilise the child’s strengths and the skills of the adults in a flexible and creative way which works within the unique setting.
Protection
Children need to feel safe and secure in order to engage socially, explore, play and learn. Children look first to the adults around them to gain a sense of safety. It is important that you let the child know that they are safe through your ‘way of being’ with the child and the way you manage the environment.
Be predictable, reliable and trustworthy. Children develop security and trust through experiences and relationships that they know that they can rely on. When adults behave consistently, children begin to be able to predict and adults are seen a reliable, and trust is able to be developed. In order for an adult to become a safe base for a child, the child needs to know that they can depend on them.
The child is greeted each day by a trusted adult who spend the first 10 minutes with them preparing them for the day.
Adults will regularly check in throughout the school day using eye contact, thumbs up or placing hand on shoulder.
Provide safety cues. Being aware of the cues you are giving is very important, particularly through your facial expression and frequency and modulation of your voice. Interact using story telling voice with no trace of crossness. Consider other safety cues such as movements which could make them feel safe. Take care to ensure open and friendly body language.
All adults are aware of the need to provide safety cues through face, tone of voice and body language.
Adults are careful to eliminate any tones of crossness in voice and attempt to use a story telling intonation whilst remaining clear.
Provide structure and boundaries. These need to match the child’s needs and be communicated to them in a way that they understand and which is meaningful to them. Visuals and timers can be helpful in establishing structure and boundaries.
Lessons, tasks and activities are highly structured and broken into chunks and small steps.
Expectations, guidance and instructions are clearly communicated using simple language, supplemented with visual / timers etc.
Anticipate and manage things that may be picked up as threat or danger. Unfamiliar sounds in the environment, unfamiliar people or situations, change in routine, or sudden movement can all trigger feelings of fear. Sometimes just a lack of safety cues can trigger a defensive response.
The child comes in from break and lunch five minutes early in order to avoid the business of transition and to have time to calm before lessons start.
The child is pre-warned of changes such as cover or supply teacher and provided with additional support.
Manage transitions. Transitions, both large and small will be particularly important, even transitions such as moving from activity to activity within the classroom may need to be supported.
The child has a set routine for coming into school which is supported by a visual timetable or social story.
The child is pre-warned of all transitions through visual and social stories.
Make the environment safe. Sensory input can trigger a defence response and for some children managing the sensory environment is important for creating feelings of safety. In addition the environment is important in providing safe spaces for the child.
Where the child sits is adjusted to create feelings of safety; at the back of the class to reduce hyper vigilance; near the teacher to provide reassurance; in a place where there are minimal distractions.
The child has sensory breaks throughout each day.
The child has a safe space in school to go to when feeling stressed or over whelmed.
Connection
Children need opportunities for connection at all levels in order to feel connected to others and to develop a sense of belonging. Children need to experience connection from adults in order to develop their ability to interact and form relationships. In addition children need to feel connected to their peers and have a sense of belonging in school.
Be physically and emotionally available. Give them your time and opportunities for them to experience undivided attention.
A significant adult has special time with the child every week where they listen to the child and focus on something that is of interest to them.
Each day the class teacher or tutor spends five mins with the child talking, showing interest in what they are doing and listening to them.
Attune emotionally to the child by mirroring their tone and mood. Seeing themselves reflected in you lets them know that they are noticed and understood.
All adults are mindful of the need to attune emotionally, matching tone of voice and facial expression as well as responding empathically. For example “This is a really tricky situation, I wonder if it is hard for you when the work is something you haven’t done before”.
Be responsive, expressive and playful. Encourage expressive interaction using facial expressions, voice modulation and movement. Have fun, stimulate shared joy and joint laughter.
Each day an adult will share a story with the child, using expressive facial expressions and voices.
The child will be included in small group work focusing on developing interaction through role play and using different facial expressions and intonation.
The child will be encouraged to listen to audio books in order to experience different voice modulation and intonation of speech.
Class teachers will do or say something that shows they know the chid as an individual.
Encourage and develop interaction. We feel connected to each other when we experience:
Synchrony
Mirroring and doing things in time and rhythm is our first experience of connection. It is how we know we are not alone and the feelings of connection associated with this remain with us throughout life. Children who have had limited experience of connection will need high levels of connection through being alongside others matching them in time and rhythm before the gentle introduction of turn taking.
The child starts each morning doing a drumming activity with a small group.
The child is encouraged to take part in an extracurricular music group/choir.
When the child is finding it difficult to connect, an adult with work alongside them looking for opportunities to be alongside them in time and rhythm.
Turn taking
Through increasingly complex turn taking children learn to accept influence from others and
learn that they can influence others. Songs and games enable children to practise doing things together and in turns. Games and activities with shared enjoyment, repetition, reliability and joint anticipation are
important in developing an understanding that other people may know what we know and vice versa.
An adult will play alongside the child each day to encourage turn taking within their play. For example, when playing in the sand pit provide opportunities for taking turns to fill a bucket or playing a clapping game.
The class teacher includes games which involve shared enjoyment and repetition within the curriculum or establishes a fun routine such as a special handshake with the class each morning.
The child will be part of an extra-curricular group (sport, music, drama) where turn taking and opportunities for games are maximised.
Joint projects
When developmentally ready children can then engage in joint projects involving sharing skills and knowledge, interests and a joint vision. Through these activities children develop a ‘common sense’ relating to shared intentions, understanding of what is acceptable and what others may be thinking and feeling.
The child is part of a small group project looking into redesigning an area of the playground/social space at school.
An adult has a special project with the child focusing on the child’s interests such as growing plants or making comic books.
Show them that you know them, like them and are interested in them. Notice what they are interested in, be curious about them and let them know that you are thinking about them.
An adult will catch up with the child each morning to let them know that they are thought about and to share a joint interest, for example, talking about the football or television from the night before.
Support wider connection. Provide opportunities for connection with peers and to develop connection with the school community and place. Doing and experiencing together, opportunities for contribution and responsibility will support connection. The child is supported to take part in an extra-curricular activity of their choosing.
A small group of children are given responsibly for something and work together. For example, responsibility to water the plants, organise games for younger children at play time or mentor children in lower year groups.
Support the development of skills needed for positive relationships. This may include basic social skills such as sharing, waiting for a turn, following another’s lead, leading, winning, losing, asking for help and listening as well as valuing one another, acknowledgement, encouragement, sharing ideas, acceptance, tolerance and compassion
The child is part of a small group with a focus on developing and practising social skills through play or joint activity such as gardening or cooking.
An adult supports the child in class for 15 mins each day in order to provide opportunities for them to see social skills modelled and to practise skills themselves.
Understanding
Understanding involves developing our own as well as a shared understanding of what their behaviour is telling us as well as showing the children we work with that they are understood. Children need to know that they are accepted and understood. Children will learn to understand themselves by being shown understanding. Understanding supports the development of the cortex and higher level thinking skills. It enables us to engage at a cognitive level with our emotions.
Be curious about their feelings, thoughts and behaviour. It is important that we understand the thoughts and feelings that are driving the behaviour so that we address these unmet needs. Managing behaviour alone is unlikely to bring about sustainable change. Make sure that all adults working with the child understand the child’s needs and how to support them.
A significant adult regularly shares with wider staff informally and in formal review meetings their understanding of the child’s needs in the context of displayed behaviour.
All adults have a good understanding of the child’s behaviour and are able to see the behaviour through weekly scheduled discussion and are able to see the behaviour as communication of need. Adults respond empathically to the underlying needs of the child.
Co-regulate and develop responsive co-regulation plans. Repeated experience of being regulated by an adult will help the child to be able to regulate themselves. Some children will need a responsive co-regulation plan which outlines a planned response in order to regulate the child at different stages of dysregulation as well as a plan to keep everyone safe in crisis situations.
- Attune to the child’s feelings and reflecting them back.
- Accepting their feelings and experience. Accept without action, judgement, contradiction or persuasion. Resist the urge to minimise their feelings, distract or cheer them up.
- Thinking for them – try to work it out. Big behaviours are caused by big feelings but children are not always aware of the feelings they are experiencing. Thinking from their perspective will help to raise their self awareness and will also support the understanding and empathy of others working with the child.
- Expressing Empathy. Wonder aloud, validate, and show them you ‘get it’. Respond empathically; imagine how it is for them, empathise and then express it.
- Containing the child’s feelings so they feel safe and held.
- Soothing the child so they are able to calm.
All adults regularly discuss best practice co-regulation skills with the child in scheduled discussions and review meetings, and follow a consistent plan of response, showing empathy and compassion whilst also clear and contained.
Soothing and regulating activities are built into the child’s timetable each day– they happen as a matter of course and cannot be removed from the timetable.
Help them to process their feelings. Help them to link their physical sensations to emotions. Children at an early stage of emotional development are not able to distinguish between basic physical sensations and emotions and will initially need your help to do this. Model and provide an emotional vocabulary for them to describe how they feel.
Be creative in your approach. Allow them to make up their own words, use metaphors, stories, pictures, models, or real life examples to enable the child to express, understand and process their feelings.
Adults explicitly model emotional vocabulary, use their own examples and examples based within the school context.
The child is encouraged and supported to regularly check in with how they feel using scaling techniques or visual prompts or blob people.
The significant adult shares a special story with the child three times a week that explores emotions and feelings and discussions and activities take place around this.
Support them to develop their ability to regulate themselves. When feeling safe and calm children will be able to access their thinking skills. At this time it will be possible to provide gentle challenge which enables them to practise regulation. It will also be possible to teach them about the brain and introduce them to calming strategies such as breathing techniques and mindfulness
A small number of significant adults work explicitly on co-regulatory experiences; activities and games are shared with the child to practice experiencing strong emotions and being co-regulated to a calm state.
A significant adult works with the child and a small group of peers twice a week on shared games and activities that support the need for co-regulatory experiences.
A significant adult has dedicated time with the child to explicitly teach the skills of regulation, calming techniques, sharing stories and examples that highlight good regulation skills.
Following incidents, a significant adult will discuss these situations using a restorative process, this will currently be on helping the child to understand what they can do to repair relationships.
Care
Repeated experiences of being cared for, loved and soothed enables the child to feel good about who they are, effective, worthy of attention and able to calm themselves.
Make sure you are meeting their basic needs with relation to food, drink, warmth, sleep. Let them know that you thinking about their basic needs. Keep them warm, sheltered and if appropriate provide them with food and drink.
Small things that show you care can make a significant difference. Children need to know that their needs will be met, that they are effective in gaining what they need, and can depend on adults, including both their basic survival needs and social and emotional needs.
An adult will eat breakfast with the child each morning, making their favourite thing and enjoying each other’s company.
The child is given an extra piece of fruit in the afternoon and encouraged to have a quiet break listening to a story.
Be loving and compassionate and how them that you care. Notice things about them (a new coat, haircut or pencil case) and remember details about them including birthdays, interests, favourite sporting teams or bands.
Do special things for them, support and nurture them. Let them know that you like them. Think about how your facial expression, body language and tone of voice reflects this.
An adult regularly checks in throughout each day with simple comments, smiles, eye contact, thumbs up etc. to ensure that the child feels cared for.
At breakfast club the child will be able to choose a special spread and this is made available to them.
An adult puts a child’s picture or a poster of their favourite band/something that interests them on the wall.
Hold them in mind. Let them know that you think about them even when they are not with you. Finding regular opportunities to let them know they were in your thoughts is important in enabling the child to understand that relationships can be secure.
The teacher regularly lets the child know that they are held in mind for example “I was thinking about you last night when I was watching Dr Who, I was thinking I bet John is really enjoying this”. Or “I thought of you on Saturday, what a great game”.
Use transitional objects. This can help them know that you are thinking about them. This can be as simple as lending them a ‘special’ pen that they need to bring back to you at the end of the day, to creating something together that symbolises the relationship that you both keep part of (painted pebbles, friendship bracelets and key rings are all examples).
The child is encouraged to bring a small token from home or has a picture of mum to remind them of home and enable them to feel safe.
The child is given a pencil case at the start of the day to use and return.
Soothe and comfort them. Soothing enables the child to calm their physiological response to danger and fear. Children need to be repeatedly soothed in order to be able to self soothe.
The child has daily opportunities to engage in regulating activities with an adult such as sharing a story, listening to music, painting, peer massage, sensory regulating, activities which include predictable rhythm.
The child has a significant adult who is available to them to provide comfort and soothing.
Templates
- Relational support plan template (PDF)
- Relational support plan template (Word)
- Responsive co-regulation plan (PDF)
- Responsive co-regulation plan (Word)