Support and Guidance for Children and Young People
Contents
Introduction
Welcome to the Devon Virtual School’s web pages for supporting children and young people who have previously been looked after. This page details support and guidance for children and young people.
A list of key terms used on these pages is available here.
In addition to the information on this page, the government, in collaboration with adoption UK, have produced a comprehensive guide to meeting the needs of adopted and permanently placed children.
Support for you
Being adopted can be confusing, upsetting, scary, or exciting. You might have lots of questions about your birth family, why you were adopted by your new parents, or what is going to happen next.
Adopt South West
Adopt South West provide support and advice for children and young people who have been adopted. If you have been adopted or are going through adoption right now and would like to talk to someone, you can call them on 0345 155 1076 or email adoptsouthwestsupport@devon.gov.uk.
If you are a younger child or would like to find support for younger children, a child’s guide to adoption [link broken] is available and provides lots of useful information.
If you are an older child or young person, Adopt South West has produced a young person’s guide to adoption.
Adopt South West has also produced information about what support is available to you after 18 years old.
Mental Health Support
Just because you have been adopted and are not in care any more does not mean that any upsetting or traumatic experiences don’t still affect you. Everyone carries their memories with them and these can make life difficult at times. You may find it hard to manage your emotions or behaviour, you may feel sad for long periods of time, you may feel angry towards people who care for you. This is normal, and you can find help by speaking to the right people like parents, teachers, your social worker, or any other adult who works with you.
Young Minds have information about how to access support from Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). This would involve speaking with your parents, school, or doctor about what you are finding difficult and the help you might need.
If you are in urgent need of mental health support, you can:
- Phone the Devon Partnership trust on 0808 196 8708
- Contact Childline on 0800 1111 or via the Childline website to email or chat online
- Use the Young Minds crisis messenger.
Young Minds also have some good advice on their website for looking after yourself and your mental health in lots of different ways.
Kooth is an online wellbeing community that provides anonymous support and counselling that you can sign up to access for free.
Advice and stories from other adopted young people
The Adoptables is a group of adopted young people who share their views about life, school, and home. Visit The Adoptables website for more information, or get in touch with them on their Facebook page.
The Adoptables also have a YouTube channel where young people have shared their advice and stories.
Adoption stories
Kay’s adoption story
Mark’s adoption story
Alex’s adoption story
Jake’s adoption story
Advice
Telling people you are adopted
Issues at school
Your life story
Life story books
Your life story book will have been written when you were adopted. It tells a simple version of your journey and will have some basic information about your birth family.
It is normal to feel confused about your past and who you are, and this can lead to some very difficult feelings. Life story books can start to help you understand some of these feelings, but can also be upsetting or more confusing if you are not ready. You should speak with your parents about your life story book if you want to know more.
Differences between your life story book and your adoption file
Later life letter
Sometimes, your social worker will write a letter when you are adopted for you to read when you are older. This letter helps explain why you needed a new family and why you couldn’t stay with your birth family. Your parents will be able to share this with you if they have it.
Contact
Contact with your birth family
Contact with your birth family depends on lots of different things including what you want, what your adoptive family wants, what your birth family wants, and what your social worker or the courts think is best for you. This can be arranged through your adoptive family, birth family, and social worker coming to an agreement. Contact can also be arranged for any previous foster carers that you might have lived with.
Arrangements for contact can be changed at any time, and you will never have to see someone or do something if you don’t want to.
Adoption UK provide information and advice on contact, including how to keep yourself safe and what your rights are.
If you are over 18. you have a legal right to see your original birth certificate, which will name at least your birth mother. This can be done on the government’s adoption records website. You can also add yourself to the adoption contact register to try find your birth mother, father, or any siblings who were also adopted.
Social media and contact with your birth family
It can be very easy to get in touch with your birth family online if you know who they are, and it can also be easy for them to get in touch with you. You should always speak to your parents or social worker about this and be honest about your feelings and what you want.
Letterbox service
Sometimes, your parents and birth family will agree to keep in touch by exchanging news, letters, photos, or gifts once or twice a year. This is called a letterbox service. Many children and young people find it helpful to stay in touch this way, to know that their birth family are okay, and to know that they haven’t been forgotten. It can also be a good way for your adoptive family to find out more about your history.
Support at school
Who to speak to at school
The best person to speak to if you need help at school with learning, friendships, or staying calm is the adult who you trust the most. This could be your teacher, tutor, teaching assistant, or anyone else who works with you and knows you well.
There are teachers at school whose job it is to make sure you get the support you need. These are the Designated Teacher and the Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENDCo).
Designated Teacher
Every school and academy must have a designated teacher. This is a teacher whose job it is to provide information, advice, and support for children and young people who are adopted or living with a special guardian. The designated teacher should know your parents and social worker, and you might all meet together sometimes to talk about how you are getting on in school.
Special Educational Needs and Disability Coordinator (SENDCo)
If you have any special educational needs or a disability, then it is the school SENDCo’s job to make sure you get the support you need. You can talk to them or your teacher if you think you might need some extra help in lessons.
You can find our who the designated teacher and SENDCo for your school are by asking a teacher or checking their website.