One of our colleagues recently shared their story with us about discovering, as an adult, that they were autistic. We found it very moving and thought you would be interested to read it too…
“I always knew I was weird – not at all like the other kids. I hated sports. Lunchtime for me was standing alone in the corner of the playground watching the others play football. I had no friends. My interests were solitary and obsessive. Birthday parties filled me with dread. Our family has a long list of stories about my ‘strangeness’ such as the beach holiday where I spent the entire time sitting on the sand covered with a towel. “He’ll grow out of it,” they said. I didn’t. I was 23 years old when I first kissed a girl.
“Decades passed. Miraculously, I got married and had two children (one diagnosed with autism and ADHD). I still had no friends, still followed solitary interests and still avoided social events. Lord knows how my wife managed to put up with me over the years!
“In 2011 I sat down to begin a lifetime’s ambition – to write a novel. A post-apocalyptic story that I had been thinking about for 30 years. I wanted my main character – Cal – to have a flaw. Perfect heroes are so boring. So, I considered giving Cal OCD, or making him suffer from bipolar, or even make him a psychopath. In the end, I made Cal autistic. The characteristics of that condition seemed very similar to my experiences, so I thought it would make it easier to write about.
“Fast forward two years, when I tentatively began to show the first draft of my novel to my close family. The reaction was unanimous. You have written a story about yourself. You are Cal. I laughed. How ridiculous. Of course I’m not Cal. I wrote about a completely different person. How could I be Cal when Cal has autism and I don’t… Doh! The penny dropped. So, at the age of 54 years old, I realised I was autistic. Suddenly EVERYTHING about my past made sense.
“You may wonder how I escaped all the screening as a child, but back in the late 50’s there was no screening (except for hair nits). Even when my daughter was at school in the 90s, it was incredibly difficult to get her teachers to recognise her problems as something other than being a ‘naughty child’. Things may not be perfect these days, but they sure have improved.
“My novel turned into a four-book series and is available on Amazon. I still don’t think I’m Cal, but I am autistic.”