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Balancing the demands of a working life with being a carer – how the Health & Well-being Check helped me.

For the last ten years I have unexpectedly had to balance the demands of a working life with being a carer. I say unexpected because we don’t normally expect an otherwise healthy child and a healthy, active professional partner to become ill. In my family's case we have had to cope with the double shock of my daughter falling ill with Crohns Disease at the age of 11 (over nine years ago now) and my wife with various episodes of M.E. over 25 years but continually for the last seven. In neither case was there a cure available.

The impact on our family has been profound but, like most other families, we have gradually found a way to adapt and to continue to get the most we can from life. As a working carer I have to not just address the needs of my family but also fulfil work commitments - an incredibly difficult and often exhausting trick to pull off.

I have been fortunate to work for an employer who is sympathetic and flexible and I have also known how to get "the system" to work for me and my family - which many do not. Over the years things have gradually stabilised and I am now freer to pursue work and other personal ambitions outside the home. It is, of course, different for everyone and, at times, the demands can be overwhelming.

We know through research and experience that the cost to the health and well-being of the carer can be immense and that, in turn, our capacity to continue in the caring role can fail - potentially leading to family breakdown and greater dependency on the state.

Many carers, and I think perhaps in particular those who are still working, find it hard to talk openly about what is happening to them - perhaps fearful for their jobs or worried that in some way they are letting their family down by seeking help.  This can be very isolating.

One of the supports I have drawn on in recent weeks has been that of the Health and Well-Being checks now available across Devon in a range of Primary Care settings and pharmacies.  It was really easy to arrange - a quick call to my GP surgery and an appointment with a specially trained practice nurse. She was very kind and attentive and made me feel both supported and "seen and heard" as a carer.

I felt valued and, unusually, like someone was interested just in me and how I was doing. In my experience, professionals (and friends and family) usually focus on the sick or frail person and tend not to think so clearly about the carer and how they are doing. After talking about how I was managing generally we turned to the health check - with what results?

• Body Mass Index (waste band x weight x height) of 26 - should be 25 or under so that was not too bad - but I do need to lose half a stone.
• Blood pressure - that was fine (much to my surprise)
• Cholesterol - not so good.

The results of that blood test led to an appointment with my GP for a discussion about how to bring it down. It seems the combination of risk factors and family history give me a 30% risk of what was euphemistically called an "event" in the next 10 years. Something of a wake-up call for both me and the GP, which we are now addressing - some change of diet, an attempt to exercise more, a recognition of the need to keep the work/life balance right and to manage stress carefully.

The key point in all this I think is that it is crucial for carers, whoever they are, to look after themselves and it is equally important that employers, professionals, family and friends offer them active support. Working carers are so busy that they often overlook themselves and, in trying to appear competent at work underplay what is happening elsewhere.

The Health and Well-Being Checks are an important opportunity for us carers to stop and reflect on how we are, putting aside our loved ones for a moment, and I would encourage any other carer that has not yet taken advantage of the checks to do so where they are available through the programme or to approach their GP and ask for one even if they are not.