How can I get help?

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Perpetrators

How can I get help?

This page provides information for you if you have decided that you would like to talk to someone about your behaviour, or that you are ready to change:

What types of help are available to me?

There are a number of different types of help available to you if you want to change your behaviour. If you are looking for help in Devon you may want to contact REPAIR.

Helplines

Respect
Respect provides a national telephone helpline offering information and advice to people who are abusive towards their partners and want help to stop.

Counselling

To find a local counsellor suitable for your needs:

British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
The BACP is the professional body for counsellors. The search service will find you a therapist in the location of your choice. All therapists listed are professionally qualified and regulated by the BACP.

Relate
All sorts of people come to Relate and find it helps them to understand what's going on in their relationships and change things for the better. They offer many different services and resources.

Group programmes

REPAIR – Resolved to end the perpetration of abuse in relationships

REPAIR is a group work programme running in three parts of Devon to help abusive men who want to change their attitudes and behaviours. The programme also provides support to their partners, ex partners and children.

The scheme works by encouraging the man to acknowledge his behaviour and to take responsibility for it. It teaches him to care for and respect other people. The course will show you the effect your actions have on the people around you.

What men have said who have been on REPAIR

“The first step (saying what I had done) was the hardest step but the best step I could have made”

“I look forward to coming to the group now because I feel a weight off my shoulders when I understand myself better”

“It’s uncomfortable to start with but feels better than how I feel after I’ve hurt the people I love”

“Sharing my experience with others who have been abusive makes me realise I am not alone with this problem”

“It’s like going to the dentist – painful at the time, but avoids a lot more pain later”.

The one to one sessions are a process whereby the man is able to build his confidence in acknowledging his responsibilities and can take up to ten weeks. These are followed by a group work programme, of no more than eight men, which runs for 30 weeks.

The one to one sessions are 1.5 hours long and the group work sessions 2 hours, with a 30 minute break. Group work runs on a set evening each week.

If you want to actively change your behaviour then contact REPAIR.

Find a REPAIR project in your area:

Exeter, East and Mid Devon 07870 980272
North Devon and Torridge 07773 394278
South Hams, Teignbridge and West Devon 07816 549113.

Download the REPAIR leaflet image - PDF icon (152KB - pdf help)

What happens when I ring a helpline?

Helplines are there to help you!

Each helpline will have its own processes but these are some common aspects:

They will say who they are, so you know you have phoned the right number
They will ask how they can help you
They will listen to you
You only have to say as much as you are comfortable with
Even if asked, you don't have to give your name or address details
You can ask them questions too
If they decide they need to pass on any information to another service (e.g. if you tell them someone is at risk of being seriously hurt) they will tell you what they are going to do.

What help can I get with housing issues?

If your relationship or family has broken down you may need to find somewhere new to live. Your local housing department will be able to advise you on the options available to you.

District Housing Departments

Devon’s eight local authority housing departments are committed to helping victims of Domestic Violence and Abuse.

Local authorities across Devon work with a number of agencies to provide places of safety and support to victims and advice and guidance for those seeking alternative accommodation within or outside of the borough. They have signed up to a Domestic Abuse Code of Good Practice and take part in a county-wide Sanctuary Scheme which provides target hardening measures to make the home safer and more secure for those wishing to remain in their own home.

The housing teams work with a number of partner agencies to try and reduce Domestic Violence and Abuse in Devon and have helped fund many projects and initiatives that tackle domestic abuse, support victims and perpetrators. The teams can be contacted in the following ways: